Rest Day Rankings: The Ten Best Sunbeams on Campus

Recovery is the most important part of any training programme, and recovery depends on warmth. Our team of sunbeam assessors spent a week measuring light, floor temperature and sense of peace. The rankings follow.

10. The east corridor, 7:15 AM

A thin strip that lasts four minutes. Highly competitive, with athletes queueing from 7:00. Loses points for being a corridor.

9. The front desk window

Excellent sun, but the receptionist keeps typing. Typing is distracting, and being petted is compulsory.

8. The kitchen floor tile

Warm from the oven, and occasionally rewarded with falling crumbs. Penalised for an incident involving a boiling kettle.

7. The top of the printer

A surprise entry. Warm, humming and pleasantly illegal.

6. The library armchair

Soft and dusty. The light arrives at an angle that suggests wisdom.

5. The south balcony rail

Spectacular views, mild terror. Athletes who use it are advised to have a plan.

4. The coaching office radiator

Not a sunbeam, but we allowed it. Gerald lives here.

3. The dojo mat, midday

Large, flat, and covered in a blanket of light that feels deliberate. Often shared.

2. The window in the director’s room

A broad, glorious pane of sun, which the director has not noticed because she is at lunch.

1. The patch on the stairs

Nobody knows why. At 2:40 PM each day, the stairs produce a perfect rectangle of heat. Athletes sit in it. Humans trip over them. Everyone is happy.

“I have never felt so ready, or so unwilling to move.” A first place visitor

Methodology

Our assessors lay in each sunbeam for forty minutes and recorded their impressions. Several fell asleep and had to be rescored. The final results were reviewed by Sir Gerald, who agreed with them without waking.

We will repeat the survey in the winter, when the competition will be considerably fiercer.